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StartComputer
MicrosoftPentium


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WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger
WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet
WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
WinErr: 004 Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong
WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused
WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware
WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered - God knows what has happened
WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
WinErr: 00B Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB
WinErr: 00C Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! More!
WinErr: 00D Window closed - Do not look outside
WinErr: 00E Window open - Do not look inside
WinErr: 00F Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened
WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our developers
WinErr: 013 Unexpected error - Huh ?
WinErr: 014 Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of.
WinErr: 018 Unrecoverable error - System has been destroyed. Buy a new one. Old Windows licence is not valid anymore.
WinErr: 019 User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
WinErr: 01A Operating system overwritten - Please reinstall all your software. We are terribly sorry.
WinErr: 01B Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will get a penalty for that.
WinErr: 01C Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate.
WinErr: 01D System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code.
WinErr: 01E Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.
WinErr: 020 Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost.
WinErr: 042 Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again.
WinErr: 079 Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue.
WinErr: 103 Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded.
WinErr: 678 This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
WinErr: 683 Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.
WinErr: 625 Working Error - The system has been working perfectly for the past ten minutes
WniErr: 902 Screen Error - The system is working perfectly, I'm not lying, your monitor is wrong
WinErr: 72a Crucial Halt - Hang on, WHAT was that?
WinErr: 72b Memory Error - What? Tell me again.
WinErr: 39c Disk Error in drive a: - Although your disk is in perfect condition (I just formatted it), I don't like it any more
WinErr: 983 Hard Disk Error - The files on the hard disk were neatly arranged and fully optimised, so I had to mess them up and put a couple of hundred .TMP files all over the place
WinErr: 294 BlackMail Error - $500 to Gates or your computer gets screwed
Winerr: 294b BlackMail Error - $500 to Gates or I'll show your wife the JPG's you just downloaded
Windows 95 Upgrade Code
#include <windows.h>
#include <system_errors.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
main()
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu())
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
printf("Welcome to Windoze 59.999 (we might get it right or just call it Chicargo)\n");
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp00001.swp", O_CREATE);
while(1) {
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
if (rand() < 0.9)
crash(complete_system);
return(unrecoverable_system);

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